Lord, I don't want to be critical of how you've put me together, relying on what others think of me for my sense of well being. Make me a woman who is confident that I am lovable, not because of any outward beauty but because you have loved me from the moment you called me into being.
She's been one of my favorite artists for years. Beyond swan dresses,SNL parodies and all the unusual things associated with her. Bjork's music takes me to this place that is just simply beautiful, she challenges my own conceptions of art through her innocent way of seeing even the simplest things. I am counting the days until I get to see her live, I've been counting for about 10 years :)
This morning was not the best and seems to be part of a trend of circumstances and days that have just kicked me in the teeth. After some words of frustration and a lot of tears I put on my Bjork playlist and this song came on. As music tends to do, it spoke to me as she always tends to do, it inspired me.
"Come To Me"
come to me i'll take care of you protect you calm, calm down you're exhausted come lie down you don't have to explain i understand
you know that i adore you you know that i love you so don't make me say it it would burst the bubble break the charm
jump off your building's on fire i'll catch you i'll catch you destroy all that is keeping you down and then i'll nurse you i'll nurse you
come to me i'll take care of you you don't have to explain i understand
I've had one of those weeks. Sitting in this room Hearing their stories Waiting
I started to speak It all just spilled out Words, tears, justifications Saying this is just life
She looked me in the eyes Tears filling her own Saying simply It's not fair
It's rung in my ears I've accepted my position Rarely a peep or complaint Stopping the emotions Reminding myself It's life
Is this life Have I settled Giving up Thinking I'm common I'm afraid
Can I trust The impossible Can I trust A better story Can I trust A very apparent destiny
Or will I live in fear.
"You’re common, Cinderella. Your mother was common and so are you. Oh you can wash your face, and put on a clean dress, but underneath you’ll still be com- mon. That a Prince would even consider taking you for his bride, why it’s laughable." -Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella
I am in a desert place. Been there for about a month and try as I might I'm just here It's not a period of depression or deep wails and moans It's just.. time It's a point where everything is hitting all at once and straight at my heart All the issues, all the crap, all the dirt is being kicked up
I tend to toil.. try and push through all the time Now.. no matter how I push I'm just kind of here Everything is the same color and taste of bland Blah, lame,meh... it's all the same
I used to laugh at my old pastor The same song would play over and over again He would sit in the dark with this song playing over and over That song had power if just for that time It was the song that spoke to where he was
Here I am with the same song going on it's 10 rotation The chorus busted through my busy-ness and hit "Restore to me the joy of your salvation" With each listen it settles in deeper
The phone stopped ringing and things were calm I heard a voice saying "Let me carry you the rest of the way" This makes sense This is what will make the difference between wandering and finding home
Have mercy on me, O God According to Your unfailing love According to Your great compassion Blot out my transgressions
Would you create in me a clean heart O God? Restore in me the joy of Your salvation Would you create in me a clean heart O God? Restore in me the joy of Your salvation
The sacrifices of our God are a broken and a contrite heart Against You and You alone have I sinned The sacrifices of our God are a broken and a contrite heart Against You and You alone have I sinned
Would you create in me a clean heart O God? Restore in me the joy of Your salvation Would you create in me a clean heart O God? Restore in me the joy of my salvation
Wash me white as snow I will be made whole Wash me white as snow I will be made whole Wash me white as snow And I will be made whole Wash me white as snow